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Total Recoil: I Can’t Forget Total Recall Blitz

Written by Alexander Tucker   // 07/27/2012

Colin Farrell, Total RecallHow Total Recall Blitz Turned Me Off Colin Farrell

I love Colin Farrell. I really do. He’s a fantastic actor – funny, sexy, smart. In Bruges was amazing and don’t even get me started on Tigerland. But the makers of Total Recall have pushed their movie so hard, that I don’t want to see his face any more. The Sony/Columbia Pictures marketing juggernaut behind this film has me straight-up burned out. I’ve literally seen the trailer SO many times, I don’t even care when it opens(Aug. 3)! Why all this hullaballoo over a REMAKE?

Total Recall is based on the 1990 film of the same name and a short story by Phillip K. Dick. Len Wiseman, the man behind the Underworld series, is at the helm… that maybe explains Kate Beckinsale’s feature role in it. But I don’t care about Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel or the pretty lady with the three breasts that everyone already knows about(best of luck to you Kaitlyn Leeb). I would care about Bryan Cranston if I watched Breaking Bad, but I don’t, so I can’t. Come to think of it, I don’t think even I really cared for this movie the first time around, except that it gave Sharon Stone’s career the nice bump it needed to get her into Basic Instinct.

Supposedly the first Total Recall was a “cult classic” and this is a highly anticipated release. Umm, since when? I have a bazillion cinephile friends who love to quote Monty Python anything, Reservoir Dogs, The Big Lebowski, and who love Dr. Who and Mystery Science Theater 3000. I’ve never heard any of them refer to Total Recall at all, ever. The Terminator and Predator are ten times the cult classics that movie ever hoped to be.

So why the ridiculous hype? I don’t know, but ESPN is partnered with the production (the network was actually featured in the first film) to do a sweepstakes. MSN, Sony and Pandora are also lined up for fantasy experience giveaways. Read more about the tie-ins for Total Recall. I wonder how many other cross promotion and product placement deals were made for this. I’m guessing Big Gulp cups for starters. Ugh.Whatever’s coming, a Slurpee in a “Welcome to Rekall” cup isn’t going to make me want to see it one little bit more.

To top it off, they wasted a great line in the trailer: “I give good wife.”
There, I ruined it for you too.

Total Recall Featurette


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